Time to Fight

There is a time to cry
and a time to laugh.
There is a time to be sad
and a time to dance.
Ecclesiastes 3:4

Hello

I believe there are season’s of life. There are season’s of change and season’s of waiting, season’s of movement and season’s of stillness. I also believe there are season’s of brokenness and there are season’s of restoration. It is in all of these season’s that we learn valuable lessons and grow as people.
All of the season’s in our lives work in harmony, just like the season’s for the weather. Some season’s clear out the old from our lives, this can sometimes be painful and scary but it is needed. Some season’s can feel like a never-ending coldness. These season’s can feel dark and make you feel like nothing will ever change. Other season’s bring life, things grow and changes happen and everything feels warm and safe.
All of these season’s are needed and one can’t happen without the others.
We need to make sure that we don’t get stuck in a particular season because this will mean that there won’t be any growth in our lives. Sometimes this is extremely difficult and we can feel trapped and this is where we have to fight.

At the moment I am currently in a season of brokenness. I struggle with depression and this has really take a hold of my life in these past few months.(Side note everyone who has depression is affected differently, we are all unique people and we all have unique struggles and ways to cope). I have said before that I am an open book and so outwardly I express what is going on inside, meaning that people can clearly see when I’m struggling, because it is written on my face. I shut down, withdraw and my walls go up. Depression can be such an isolating illness and it is also something that lots of people don’t understand and get uneasy about. All these factors don’t help the person struggling. Depression can also come in season’s and these season’s can last for long amounts of time. It can make the most outgoing and confident person crumble and need to retreat. But like I said earlier although I think season’s of brokenness are needed, they are not a place for people to get comfortable. I’m writing this as much for me as I am you, If you are in a place of brokenness get prepared because operation get your fight on is a go !!!

Preparation is key. You see and hear that phrase everywhere, whether you are getting ready for exams, baking a cake or sailing around the world. You need to be prepared for the task ahead or you will fail. Whatever your season of brokenness looks like whether it be an illness or another hurdle in life, you need to get your survival kit ready. I’ll give you an example, if I was going to be stuck on an island somewhere I would take Bear Grylls because he is literally the jungle version of superman and I would also take a lifetime supply of water so Bear wouldn’t force me to drink my own pee !!! Now you can imagine if I wasn’t prepared in that situation things would definitely get nasty.

Lets build a survival kit
You need to prepare to fight your way out of your season’s of brokenness. I personally think the first step in doing so is admitting you are in such a season. Once you realise your in this season you can implement your survival kit.

After you admit where you are, you have to make the choice whether you want to move on out of the season your in, or whether you want to stay. Honestly this I think is the hardest thing to do. Season’s of brokenness although painful can be comfortable, and you may be tempted to stay in them. This is something I am currently processing. This season I am in is hard but it is also comfortable. But I know and people have reminded me that it isn’t a place where I should remain.

People are good things to go into your survival kits. Find people who will stick with you through thick and thin, and see if they will be support systems for you to lean on when the battle gets tough. These people can be friends and relatives or they can be teachers or other professional people like counsellors. Find someone who you can trust and who has a level head and a good outlook on situations. These people will help you stay accountable. Also don’t be ashamed to ask for help, the people around you who want the best for you would be so glad you asked for support. You don’t need a massive group of people, just one or two trusty allies who will be there rain or shine if you need them. I have two very strong ladies and I know they are strong because they are both trained bouncers !!! and I know these ladies have my back.

Fill your survival kit with things you know you enjoy and which on a general basis helps you feel happy and secure. I have recently taken up baking and I love it. It helps me focus on something, gets me on my feet and active and as a bonus I get to eat the finished product. I encourage you to take up a hobby you once enjoyed or find a new one, you don’t have to be good at it as long as your enjoying yourself.
Also shove in your headphones and listen to encouraging and uplifting music which is full of positive lyrics and sing them out into your life. I personally think there is no better music for this than that from a band called Rend Collective so check them out.

I’m sorry to bring this up as I try to give positive advice on here which hopefully won’t bring pain, but I sometimes have to make an exception so brace yourself.
No survival kit is ready until it includes Exercise there I said it !!! Exercise is important for your all round well-being and although it hurts and is hard and takes effort it is beneficial. Do something fun you don’t have to go exercise mad, dance around your room, get a workout dvd or go for a walk. Do something which you will enjoy and which will have you feeling good at the end of it. I have taken up running/walking/wishing the world would end,and although it is hard at the time, after I have finished I get the move over Usain Bolt there is a new champion in town feeling and it is so empowering.

Lastly in a similar way to the music try to fill your life with positive influences. Read books written by strong people who have overcome similar stuff to what you are going through. Watch videos and interviews by organisations which provide support in the areas you are struggling and save positive quotes which inspire you. Do whatever it takes to help yourself and remember what works for others might not work for you. Try different things and make the survival kit personal to you. I’m a Christian and I know doing things like praying and reading my bible will be things which will help me. Use whatever works as long as it is positive and safe.

We all go through times of struggle and brokenness, and the lessons you learn can be used to help others who are going through similar situations in the future. We don’t go through seasons for nothing they all bring purpose. Remember keep going because Autumn and Winter don’t last forever.
lots of love
Helen xx

Make way Make way Coming through !!!

Hello

In the olden days people who had certain illnesses had to walk through the street, ringing a bell and shouting UNCLEAN to warn others that they were sick and were quickly approaching, so run for your lives or else.

Question
Do you treat people with illnesses differently to people without ?

To me it often feels like people do whether they intend to or not. As someone who struggles with a mental illness it often feels like I get treated differently by the people who know about it and this makes me feel worse. I understand that the unknown often scares people and the fact that someone might suffer from something others have no concept of must bring out fear in people. Often people don’t know how to act around or towards someone with an illness for fear that they might upset, anger or embarrass them. That or catch the illness for themselves. But that can leave people feeling isolated and awkward. I can only speak from my view point, but it often feels like I as someone with a mental illness gets put into one of two boxes.

Unclean

people often make me feel as if I should get a bell and warn them of my approach, because I am unclean and will spread my nasty illness to anyone in my path.
As far as I know a mental illness like depression cannot be past around like chicken pox !!

Monster

Sometimes it feels like people see me as a monster whose aim is to hurt and corrupt the innocence of others. I belong in a cage in isolation somewhere out of sight and out of mind.

I am not a monster or unclean, just like any other person with any form of illness or disability isn’t a monster or unclean. People are people even if they look or act differently. It’s just a shame that we live in a world so full of stigma and hatred, and anyway even monsters and the unclean have hearts. I would love to live in a world where there was trust and honest love. Often it feels like who people are when they are face to face with you is different to who they actually are in their heads. Wouldn’t it be crazy if everyone’s thoughts appeared across their foreheads ?
Maybe that’s what scares people about me, no my thoughts don’t run across my forehead, but every emotion I feel can be easily read from my face and body language. I said in another post that I am an open book, so if I am happy people know about it. I bounce around like a Duracell bunny and generally just love life and everyone in it. In contrast to that when my depression takes hold I pretty much shut down. In a crowded room of people I might just sit and not say a word, this is not through rudeness or anger, there is just a heaviness within me which pushes down my voice and want for interaction. But I am listening and if someone makes a joke you can bet I’ll be laughing because I’m not a robot.

I wish people would be honest about their fears and curiosity about illness especially mental illness. Instead of them reading things wrong and coming to their own conclusions, I wish people would be honest and ask the questions they have. It would make life so much easier. Maybe if you know someone who is living life with an illness you could talk to them and ask them questions. Also remember just because someone has an illness it doesn’t mean that they know everything there is to know about it. They probably have the same fears and questions as you do. Failing that just remember a person with an illness is still as much of a person as a person without one and that means they have feelings and opinions, questions and stories.

I hope if anyone reads this, that it make you think again about this world we live in and the people we live in it with. This has honestly taken my all to write and to be honest I have been in floods of tears throughout the whole writing process. Life is a crazy obstacle to tackle with so many things thrown at us along the way, but all we can do is journey on through it, doing our best even if it isn’t good enough for everyone.

love
Helen xx

oops i did it again

Hello

Question
Is someone a failure if they relapse back into something they have already dealt with ?

I think a lot of the time it is hard to move past the things you are struggling with, because it then means you have to maintain that movement. Plainly put it often feels like you can never go back to what you did before or else you fail . You see it all the time when people are on diets. The person will have been doing really good with their diet, but you can bet the moment they reach for the chocolate bar, they will get tuts and shaking of heads, and people saying that “it’s a shame you fell back into bad habits.” Like come on it’s one chocolate bar not the entire free buffet !!!

So I ask again
Is someone a failure if they relapse back into something they have already dealt with ?
Of course the answer is NO!!!!!
Cliché alert
Life is a journey, and that means there is a lot of time to mess up and fix things, struggle and conquer.

Everyone messes up, makes mistakes and wishes they could turn back time, but so often we forget that and think we are the worst person in the world. Of course that isn’t true. But life is hard, especially when it seems like you are the only one eating the chocolate bar. We live in a time where perfection is thrown at us from every angle. If you don’t look, think or act like everyone else then you don’t make the cut I’m afraid.
Obviously that isn’t a bad thing, we don’t have to be perfect and just because the world says we do, doesn’t make it true. We are not robots, we will mess up and struggle and that is fine. Having struggles doesn’t make us a bad person it makes us a real person.

We all have different struggles and problems to other people, because we are unique and have a unique set of circumstances. We will also have unique ways of dealing with things, meaning we might react and deal with things differently to someone with similar circumstances. This isn’t a bad thing. The unfortunate thing is we might get judged for the ways we deal with stuff, but as we grow we learn right from wrong, healthy from unhealthy and can develop our reactions to situations.

A massive struggle in my life is having depression and it annoys me so much, not that it helps in anyway.
I hate having this particular illness and not for the reason you probably think. It is because this so called invisible illness is ironically very noticeable in me. My emotions and feelings make up a lot of my character. I am an open book. Now I am very open about my past struggle with depression. I would gladly write about it on here or get up in front of a crowded church and talk about my illness, and how I dealt with and moved past it. As a Christian this was an important testament to the love and work of God. I knew I had been allowed to go through this particular struggle so that I could show others that it could be beat. I had an anger inside of me for the brokenness of the world and knew I had a part to play in the restoration of broken people.
But now it might be back, oh dear this wasn’t in my plan !!! I have already beat this illness how has it come back ? What did I do wrong ? Does that mean I am a failure ? I feel like one. I feel like I have let everyone down, I have let God down and I have let myself down. The truth is I haven’t let anyone down. It isn’t a bad thing to relapse, whether that be eating chocolate on a diet or struggling with depression, and we need to move past the notion that it is. I think of it like someone who has broken their arm. It might have been years since it was broken, yet every so often they still get pain where the break was. There is a verse in the bible which says Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5. This is a promise that no matter how hard things are at the moment they won’t last. This bout of depression will not last. It might take some time to shift but it will not last. It might also return and that won’t last either.
The depression isn’t who I am. We are not made up of our struggles. Going back to earlier I still have an anger for brokenness, I still have a calling to help broken people and I still have a testament to the love and work of God. He continues to use us no matter if we are standing strong or on our knees in defeat.

So to wrap up If you are struggling at the moment don’t worry because it wont last forever trust me. Also you are not a bad person for struggling, we all have times of struggle and we also have times of victory and if you are struggling at the moment hold tight because your victory is coming.

love
Helen xx

No longer slaves

Hello

Fear is a massive struggle in my life at the moment and it annoys me that it is. I guess all the way through life fear will creep up on us. School kids have fears about exams, adults have fears about bills and parents have fears about their children. Honestly though fear does nothing to help. Fear doesn’t complete an exam, fear doesn’t pay a bill and fear doesn’t protect children. Fear just tears us down, makes us feel insignificant and can make us lose our hair, Not good.

We have to combat fear or it will ruin us. This is a hard thing to do, and will be a different process for each person. You need to figure out what helps you fight off fear. It might be to face the fear and run at it head on. Go to that interview or open that letter. It might be that you need to work up to the fight. Like studying for an exam. Every day you study can be a day where you are working up to the fight preparing yourself and getting yourself ready so that you are not overwhelmed or panicking.

You might have fears about the future and it might not be that you can study or attend an interview. You might have fears about what will happen in the future, will you have a house, will you get married, have kids. It is fears like this that can really drag you down. Fears about exams and interviews are big and are important to deal with, but both of these situations would have a clear time scale from beginning to end, and fear about these things would soon disappear after you got your results thankfully. But fear of the unknown can weigh us down, as there may not be a time scale to help. With fears like these it is so important to figure out ways to combat them and this will be unique to the person. First of all you need to be honest with yourself and others. Find someone who you can really trust and tell them how you are feeling. But remember there isn’t always a clear answer to be given to your questions. Also keep them up to date on how you are feeling. You could also creatively deal with your fears. Write them down or draw. If you respond to creative outlets then use them to express your fears and feelings to help you clear your head.
If anything in your life happens with which you had fears about then acknowledge it. Even if that means sticking your tongue out at your fear on your fist day in your new office or whilst your stood in your wedding dress, it will help you to see that you were stronger than your fear and that the fear didn’t win.

One way I deal with my fear is to pray. As a Christian I believe that God cares about me and that includes my fears. As a matter of fact Not being afraid is one of the most common themes in the bible. Also God is a lot bigger than I am and can deal with a lot more than me. The bible tells us that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives and to trust Him. It is hard at times, but my faith in God keeps me going when the fear is crippling, and even if I feel far away or lost and lonely, I know that I can talk or cry or shout and God will listen and that is a comfort in itself.

We shouldn’t let fear rule our lives, we just have to hope that whatever is around the corner in life, will be good, bring us joy and add happiness to our lives. So get your armour on and prepare for battle as fear is the enemy and we need to fight it off again and again. This is one of my favourite songs and it is a powerful anthem about being free from fear. I encourage you to listen to it to the end as it builds in to a massive declaration of freedom.

love Helen x

Am I a difference maker ?

Hello

This is a question which pops into my head on a fairly regular basis, and truthfully it is something I struggle with. I am not an important person to the world, which is fine. I’m not the Queen of England or president of the United States. I don’t run a major company or head up the entire police force. These are some of the most important people of the world and I am not one of them. I am just me, a 22 year old northerner, growing up and trying to figure out this crazy world we call home. Not exactly world changing, but like I said earlier that’s fine.

So back to my question. Am I a difference maker ?

Well the answer to that question is easy
Yes
Yes I am a difference maker, we all are. It doesn’t matter if your not the Queen or President, just by being you is making a difference in this world, yey.
There is that saying of “we’re all here for a reason”, and that is so true believe it or not. It doesn’t always feel like it, but we are all here on purpose for a purpose. Some people might know what their purpose on earth is, and others, me for example are still figuring it out,both of these are completely fine. Life is about learning and growing. A part of that lesson is learning that you do make a difference,and just a person’s existence affects the way the world works. This can be used for good and bad. History is littered with people who have affected the world in negative ways,some of these we are still dealing with today.It is crazy to think that one person’s idea can completely change the way the world works. We have to be so careful when it comes to what we give out. Just think something as easy as a smile can change a person’s whole day which can then go on to change someone else’s day and so on and so on. So many people affected by that one little smile, and that my friends is making a difference.

I recently went on a mission trip to South Africa and it was the most incredible experience of my life.
I was able to go and walk in other people’s shoes and see how other people live. It was eye opening. I think growing up in a country like England we become desensitised to the way some people live, and going to South Africa reminded me that the world is failing its brothers and sisters. I saw some shocking sights of poverty and unjust and met people with heartbreaking stories. It is in those moments when you think can I really help these people? Can I really make a difference?

As part of the trip we went into a local township, a place full of poverty. One of the things we were privileged enough to do was to build a house and vegetable patch for a single mother and her children. Yes it was a privilege, Truthfully I think it blessed us more than it blessed them. It was so humbling. We went to a place and we made a difference. We also went to a village ran by a couple who had the vision to make a difference in the lives of the people of South Africa. What started with two people saying right lets give it a go turned into a place filled with love, joy and safety for all involved. That beautiful place and those beautiful people make such a difference in so many lives.

We can all make a difference in this world and we all do. We just have to decide if that difference is for the good or for the bad. Next time you feel insignificant in this world remember it wouldn’t be the same without you. Remember you don’t have to run the country to make a difference, just being you is good enough.
Give someone a smile in the street,put a positive quote on Facebook,or go build a house in Africa. I will say it again,just be you because you do make a difference in this world. You do have a place and a purpose and that is a fact.

lots of love
Helen
xx

My response to My Self Harm Nightmare Documentary – Channel 4

disclaimer – contains content some people may find difficult.

Hello

I have just watched a channel 4 documentary which had focused on self harm and eating disorders in girls.
It featured girls who have dealt with these addictions, and also had their parents tell of their experiences upon finding out and dealing with their daughters problems.

I firstly want to say Well Done and Thank You to everyone involved for their honesty and courage to speak out about such difficult issues. Also to channel 4 for opening up a door to some very stigmatised problems.

This documentary was an extremely hard thing to watch, and as social media revealed afterwards it created very mixed reviews. But it got people talking about mental health, and I feel like this was such an important step. Many people on social media commented on how the content was potentially triggering to viewers. But I feel like these are subjects with such vulnerability attached,that any way chosen to address them could have been viewed as a potential trigger. There is always that question of do we show it in an honest light or do we shy away from it and let it go unheard. There may always be that risk of a trigger, just like adverts for alcohol can be triggers for alcoholics and adverts for chocolate can be triggers for chocoholics. It is important to be mindful of people watching, but there is also a duty to break down the walls and educate the world with honest content. I feel like this was done well with this particular documentary.

Self harm and eating disorders are very misunderstood illnesses and people often hide their struggles from the world. There are lots of different reasons why people develop these problems, and sufferers are often judged, with many believing they are attention seeking or acting out. This may be the case for some, but it is definitely not the case for all. Another misconception is that everyone who self harms wants to die. This is untrue in most cases with many people self harming as a coping mechanism or distraction from other feelings.

The documentary focused a lot on how the internet plays a big part in aiding these illnesses. A lot of people said they thought the documentary was blaming the internet for causing these illnesses, but I found that to be completely untrue. The documentary featured girls sharing their personal stories and many of these included the ways which the internet was used. Websites with triggering content are easily accessible and they are often filled with pictures, quotes and stories promoting and encouraging self harm and eating disorders. There are online communities filled with people giving tips and competing with one another on who can lose the most weight or who has the most self harm scars. Also whenever a website is taken down another goes straight up with similar content.

I try to be open about my struggles with mental illness and for many years suffered with depression. Within this time I had issues with food and self harm. I am also no stranger to the websites encouraging these issues. I have so many memories of spending hours scrolling through page after page on these websites, all filled with pictures of thigh gaps and arms full of scars. I helped myself spiral deeper and deeper into illness with the help of the websites. Out of curiosity I just went on to one of my old blog pages. It was a place where I reposted images which reflected the thoughts inside my head and just now brought tears to my eyes. To revisit my 18 year old self’s thoughts is heartbreaking. For example one of the posts had words which said leave flowers on my grave so then I can finally be pretty. I find this incredibly sad.

Back then I loved that other people felt the same way I did because it meant that I wasn’t as alone as I felt. Now it scares me to think that girls and boys are creating and looking at these images and how so many of them will go without the help that they desperately need. In my opinion more needs to be said and done to bring awareness about mental illness and especially self harm and eating disorders. People need to be educated and stigmas need to be broken. Like I said earlier I am so thankful for the documentary from channel 4 and I hope more will follow. So many people are getting lost in mental illness and we cant continue failing to provide help and support. If you feel like you would be able I suggest looking up the documentary to gain more of an insight into mental illness.
Lets do more to break down the walls of mental illness !!!!!

love
Helen
xx

Just an innocent tweet ?

Hello

So today pretty much every corner of the internet was filled with a story regarding Katie Hopkins and Kelly Clarkson. To cut a long story short basically Katie Hopkins has been on twitter and has been calling out Kelly Clarkson on her weight. Honestly I find this horrific. The idea of somebody intentionally setting out to tear at someone’s self esteem in such a public way is barbaric. Thankfully Kelly responded with grace and said that actually she is Awesome (I agree) and doesn’t look to others to boost her self esteem.

I am all for free speech and do believe everyone is entitled to have their own thoughts and opinions. But I in no way believe that people should say things,like the things that were said in places where other people can see them, such as social media. Especially when those people are on a social platform like Katie is. I know Katie is famous for her controversial opinions and is often seen on TV shows and in newspapers voicing her views on what is wrong with the world, but honestly where is the line drawn on what is acceptable, especially on social media?

We live in a tech driven world, where anything can be said or done within seconds, and it is now easier than ever to voice your thoughts and opinions for all the world to see. This also means that cyber/online bullying is now on the rise, and for some it is a part of their everyday life, whether that is being the bully hidden behind the screen or the person on the receiving end. Often people don’t realise that what they are doing is wrong and that it can actually affect other people. They think that what they are doing is funny or a game, and because they haven’t said it to the person’s face it wasn’t damaging. This of course isn’t true. The sad fact is that young people committing suicide because of cyber bullying is also on the rise.

It is hard to educate young people that cyber bullying is wrong when the 40 something year old adults they see on television are doing the exact same thing, yet not facing the consequences of their actions. The sad thing is that these 40 something year olds are parents and children follow the examples set by them.

Bullying in any form is NOT fun, a game, or something to laugh at and encourage.
Bullying is hurtful, damaging, cruel and needs to be stopped.
So to Katie Hopkins and everyone else on the internet please pour out love and kindness and at the very least just say nice things. The world has enough darkness in it without you adding to it.

love
Helen
x

PS Kelly Clarkson is one beautiful and talented lady that’s a fact
xx

it’s Time to Talk about

Hello

So today it is Time to Talk day, which is a day to be open and honest about Mental Health.
Mental health issues have always been brushed under the carpet and not talked about, and this has led to many people feeling ashamed about their problems and not receiving the help they need and deserve. This has also led to people being uneducated about the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s and why’s regarding mental health, which has caused further isolation and stigma.
Mental health issues are nothing to be ashamed of, with 1 in 4 people being affected every year, chances are we all will know someone with some form of a mental health problem.

It is time for things to change regarding mental health problems and the stigma attached to those problems. We all need to stand up and start speaking out to provide support and encouragement to those dealing with mental health issues. More needs to be done to educate people about mental health, and more help needs to be given to provide care. The sad fact is more and more young people and children are suffering with mental health problems, such as depression and eating disorders, and as there is not enough help and support provided many of these children and teenagers are suffering for a lot longer than they should and many are suffering in silence. Is being embarrassed or not willing to talk about mental health worth a child’s life ?

I know first hand what it is like to suffer with a mental illness as I suffered with depression for a number of years. It was the most dark and scariest time of my life and I still get chills down my spine as I remember the loneliness and pain my depression brought me. Many people are uneducated about depression and say they are depressed if they have had a bad day or got a cold, in reality depression is an all consuming illness which affects pretty much every aspect of a person’s life. I felt isolated from every single person and for a long time I hid how I felt behind a fake smile and an overly bouncy spring in my step. But keeping up appearances took a toll and before I know it cracks appeared and what felt like the whole world found out my deepest darkest secrets.
I had been suffering in silence for so long and the negativity felt like a safety blanket which shielded me from everything around me. I was so ashamed of the feelings I felt and the actions I was taking to deal with the pain and everyone around seemed perfect compared to me. I spent hours online because people were honest about how they felt and most of them felt the same as me, extremely worthless. The internet in as amazing thing in this world and can do some incredible things, but it also can help a extremely depressed 16 year old feed her demons. Back them I treasured the fact the people posted pictures, quotes and music online which contained triggering content, now it makes me incredibly scared for other people who feel the need to post and search out that stuff.
Thankfully I came across people who shared how they had received help for similar issues I was dealing with and it made me realise I could also get help. For a while I took medication and saw a counsellor for a year, which along with my faith in God and some of the most incredible people on the planet helped me get onto the road of recovery. A few years on I still have to take it day by day and still have down days, that is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.

I now know the importance of speaking out when it comes to mental health and well if those other people hadn’t had the courage to talk about their struggles then I wouldn’t have been encouraged to get help for mine.
No matter who we are, we will all suffer with something to do with our health. Just because you cant see mental health problems from the outside doesn’t mean they don’t exist. The way I see it is it takes a strong person to face up to what they can see coming and it takes an even stronger person to face up to what they can’t see coming.

Don’t be ashamed about mental health and don’t be scared to ask questions because the more people who know about mental health and are open about it, the more people will feel comfortable being open about their own struggles and if more are open about their struggles then more can get help.
come on guys it is time to talk !!!

lots of love
Helen
xx

Better late than never

Hello

It is 2015 can you believe it ???
I love when the new year starts. I just find it to be a time filled with positivity and excitement. The new year always brings hope of a brighter future. We see it every year with the new years resolutions people make. Most people usually start the year with at least one goal which they would love to conquer and I love the fire in their eyes as they set out to make that dream a reality. One of mine is to write on here more !!!

The new year brings freedom. The change in date can be such a beneficial mark in a someone’s life. It is a time where you can leave the things which have caused you pain in the past and move forward, using the new year as building blocks to help yourself back up from the pit. It is a time to say no to the things which hold you back and yes to the new adventures which are just around the corner.
It is also a time to start doing the things you want to do, but were afraid of doing before. Climb a mountain, wear a dress, visit another country, whatever it is just go for it,because you might not regret doing something,but you will regret not doing it.

So often we do amazing things and have amazing moments in our lives which we forget and that it such a shame. This year I encourage you to document what you do in some way. You could write a diary, make a scrapbook or create a photo album. Just do something with which you can look back on and remember all the awesome times you have had this year. I have started something I have called a Joy Jar and when something good has happened I write it on a piece of paper and put it in my jar, and at the end of the year I can reread all the notes and remember the things which have given me joy.

I encourage you this year to be bold, look for adventure and have as many joyful moments as you can.
I hope you have an amazing 2015

lots of love
Helen
x

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover

Hello

Right I will be real with you, I am rubbish when it comes to stereotyping people. I see someone and instantly think good person, bad person, scary person, lovely person. It’s bad I know, it’s something I always have to deal with because people are not always who they seem to be from the outside. Most of us get taught as we grow up not to judge other people and put them into boxes. But I feel it is something most people, myself included do a lot. People often get stereotyped because of their own choices such as the clothes they wear, if they have tattoos/piercings or what sport they play. Other times people get stereotyped by things that they didn’t choose such as their skin colour, hair colour, gender, if they wear glasses or where they live. A lot of the time we don’t even realise that we are categorising people and most times we don’t do it to offend people, although the things we say can hurt someone.

Sometimes the category people get put in can effect their daily lives and how they get treated by other people. Some people struggle to get jobs because of the area they live in. They could be the loveliest person in the world but wouldn’t get a look in because they are perceived in a certain way just because of their postcode. That is not fair. Some people get targeted in the street just because they have a different skin colour. They can’t help the skin they were born with, yet they still get called names. That is not fair. A few years ago in a town near where I live two young people got horrifically attacked because of the clothing they were wearing. One was left seriously injured and he will have to live with the attack for the rest of his life and the other person died. This was not fair. Why should these young people have had to go through such pain just because they were from a different stereotype group than their attackers? They shouldn’t !!!!! Sadly they weren’t the first and won’t be the last. We only have to look at events in history to see the affects of stereotyping people and how damaging it can be when other people voice their opinions.

I want to tell you a story of a time when I judged a person too soon.

One night I was walking home from church (your stereotyping me arnt you) it was dark and I was on my own. I had to walk up the high street to get near my house and I suddenly saw a guy across the street in a hoodie. I immediately thought of danger, that this boy was going to attack me because I was alone, vulnerable and my only source of defence was a water bottle. Honestly I was petrified especially when he crossed over the road and was now walking towards me. I braced myself for attack. As soon as he was close enough to face me I looked him in the eyes and I got a shock. My perceived attacker was actually my brother coming to check that I was alright !!!! Just because he was wearing a jumper and was out at night, I had immediately placed him in a danger to society box.

It just shows how wrongly we can get things when we listen to other people’s opinions. Now in one way I was right to be weary of people out at night because we should take caution especially when we are on our own. But I was wrong to automatically assume my brother was a troublemaker just because he was wearing a jumper. I had stereotyped him in to a box which I shouldn’t have.

Stereotyping can also be damaging if done from a early age. Some people will tell children that they are no good, that they will be failures or that they will grow up to become something or someone, and this can often become a prophecy that they live to fulfil. For example some children are taught that because they live in certain areas they will grow up to not be successful and that they have a life of crime. This instilled into them from an early age means that they believe it and sure enough they soon start getting involved in the things they shouldn’t. Instead of being taught who they will become, they should be taught who they could become, because they could be anything that they set their minds too.

There will always be stereotyping and putting people into categories in this world, but we need to need celebrate the individual. We should be looking past the skin colour and the clothing and the religions to see the person. Each different person created for a reason, each created with unique qualities and preferences, fashion sense and music taste. We were not created as robots but as a canvas ready to tell it’s own story.
Don’t be afraid to be you. There will always be people telling you that you are wrong just remember that we can’t please everybody and remember You are fearfully and wonderfully made and that’s a fact.

lots of love
Helen
xx